My coaching experience taught me that coaching youth sports can be challenging, rewarding, frustrating, and a whole lot of fun. Surprisingly, the hardest part was not teaching the kids how to play. Most of the time, it was dealing with the parents.
Over the years, my coaching experience included both soccer and softball. Some teams I volunteered to coach, while others I took over because they needed someone. Every team was different, but each one taught me something about kids, parents, patience, and what it really means to be a coach.
My Coaching Experience With Soccer
When my oldest daughter was old enough to play sports, she wanted to play them all. One of the first sports she tried was soccer.
I had played soccer when I was younger, so when her team didn’t have a coach, I volunteered.
It was a boys-and-girls team of 4- to 6-year-olds. Most of them had never played soccer before, let alone any organized sport. We played indoors on half of a basketball court, from sideline to sideline. It was a very small playing area.
We didn’t have practices, either. All of our learning had to happen on game day.
I had to decide who would be the goalie, forwards, and defenders. I think picking the goalie was the hardest part because I needed a child who wasn’t afraid of the ball.
I asked, “Who wants to be the goalie?”
Luckily, one child raised his hand. Problem solved!
Then it was time to choose the forwards. Of course, almost every kid wanted to play forward. I picked three of them, and the other two became our defenders.
When Everyone Follows the Ball
If you have ever watched children this young play soccer, you know it can be complete chaos.
Forget about positions. Wherever the ball went, the kids went.
I would be hollering from the sideline trying to get their attention and remind them where they were supposed to be. By the time the game was over, I usually didn’t have much of a voice left.
But we actually had a pretty good little team.
After each game, one of the families would bring snacks. I think getting that snack afterward may have been the kids’ favorite part of playing soccer! While they ate, I would talk to them and tell them what a great job they had done.
Then came the parents.
I almost always had one or two parents come up after a game and ask why their child was playing a certain position. They would tell me their child would be better somewhere else.
My answer was usually pretty simple:
“Have you watched these kids play? They don’t play a position. They just follow the ball!”
Usually, the parent would laugh and agree with me.
Coaching My Stepson’s Soccer Team
Later, we signed my stepson up for indoor soccer. We showed up for his first practice and discovered that his team didn’t have a coach.
He knew I had played soccer when I was younger, so he asked me to coach his team.
Of course, I said yes.
At times, I wondered what I had gotten myself into!
These kids were a little older, around 7 to 9 years old, and our first practice didn’t go particularly well. Some of them simply would not listen.
I had to teach them that being part of a team also meant listening, learning, and participating in practice. When game day came, the players who hadn’t listened or participated during practice didn’t get as much playing time.
Naturally, some parents wanted to know why.
I explained that I needed the kids to understand that practice mattered. Some parents understood my decision. Others didn’t agree with it. That was one of the harder lessons I learned about coaching youth sports: sometimes you make a decision you believe is best for the team, knowing that not every parent will agree.
This part of my coaching experience taught me that working with older kids came with a different set of challenges.
Making Every Player Feel Special
At the end of the season, I threw a party for the team and handed out trophies.
I wanted every child to know that I had noticed something special about what they had accomplished during the season, so I created different achievement awards.
There were awards for Most Improved, Most Goals Scored, Best Defender, and other accomplishments. I made sure every child received an individual award along with a trophy.
Those kids really enjoyed it, and so did I.
For me, coaching wasn’t just about winning games. I wanted the kids to feel proud of how much they had learned and improved.
Taking Over My Daughter’s Softball Team
My coaching experience wasn’t limited to soccer. I also had the opportunity to coach my daughter’s softball team.
My daughter was in her second year of playing softball when her coach could no longer finish the season. He asked me if I would take over the team.
I had grown up playing softball, so I jumped at the chance.
These girls were only in first and second grade, so they were really young. Many of them were still learning how to throw and catch a ball.
Watching them play catch before practice could be quite an adventure. Sometimes a girl would miss the ball and get hit with it. Other times, the ball would go sailing past her, and she would have to chase it across the field.
But they were learning. That was what made the coaching experience so rewarding—watching them learn something new every week.
Figuring Out Where Everyone Should Play
Assigning the girls to positions wasn’t easy.
My daughter could throw and catch well, but obviously, I couldn’t put her on every base. I put her at third base because she could make the throw from third to first.
The only other girl who could consistently catch the ball went to first base.
Then I had to figure out where everyone else should go.
At that age, you work with what you have and teach as you go.
Batting was another adventure.
Some of the girls didn’t realize they were supposed to run after hitting the ball, or even which direction they were supposed to run! They would get so excited about actually hitting the ball that they would just take off.
Sometimes in the wrong direction.
Fielding wasn’t much different.
They understood that when the ball was hit, they needed to get it to first base. A few of them took that very literally and would pick up the ball and run it over to the first baseman instead of throwing it.
Once they understood that throwing the ball was a much faster way to make the play, things started getting better.
Watching Kids Learn Was the Best Part
One of the things that always amazed me about coaching was how much the kids could learn and improve during a season.
Some children seemed to be natural athletes. Others needed more time and instruction. Some struggled with almost everything when they first started.
But that never bothered me.
My attitude was simple: if a child wanted to learn, I was willing to teach them.
That was one of my favorite parts of coaching. A child didn’t have to be the best player on the team. Seeing a kid finally catch a ball, make a good throw, score a goal, or understand something we had been practicing could be just as exciting as winning a game.
That became one of the most rewarding parts of my coaching experience.
Sports have always been an important part of our family, whether we were playing, coaching, or simply enjoying the experience together. If sports are an important part of your family too, you can also learn more about our Community Membership for Sports.
What My Coaching Experience Taught Me
I enjoyed every coaching opportunity I was given. The kids could make me laugh, test my patience, wear out my voice, and surprise me with how quickly they learned.
Were there difficult days? Absolutely.
Were there moments when I wondered why I had volunteered? Definitely.
But the kids were worth it.
My coaching experience gave me a whole new appreciation for anyone who volunteers to coach youth sports.
The hardest part for me was dealing with parents who didn’t always agree with a coaching decision. Every parent naturally wants the best for their child, but a coach also has to think about the entire team.
Looking back on my coaching experience, I remember the challenges, but I remember the kids and the fun even more.
Coaching soccer and softball gave me the chance to spend time with my children, teach young players something I loved, watch kids gain confidence, and hopefully give them some good memories along the way.
And I learned something important myself:
You don’t have to have the most talented team to have a successful season. Sometimes success is simply watching a child do something at the end of the season that they couldn’t do when the season began.